Please, let me fuck your mom
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
