Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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