I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Panties = found
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
