Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
farters have to be the big spoon...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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