pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
