Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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