The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize