I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
