why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize