He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
