I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize