my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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