Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize