know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
