just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
