My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
