My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
