so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
