she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
