I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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