apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
