Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
