Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
