My sheets look like a crime scene.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
