I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Slut skills are useful in every country.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
