I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
