We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
