speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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