Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
