and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
