I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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