I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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