so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
