i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
