My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
