somebody snuck up and got me drunk
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
