I wish I could punch you in the face.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
