I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
