are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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