Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
