Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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