We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize