So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
