He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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