So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Can I color on your dick again?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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