Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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