did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
