she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize