Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
In America we eat man semen.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
