I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
