That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
