the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
