It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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