so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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