no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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