Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
