I wannas sexs uuuuu
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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