sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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