bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
