I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
