Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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