I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
