i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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